SPLIT DECISION – After a relieved Niles learns that Maris' mysterious three-day disappearance took her on a shopping spree to New York, Frasier tells him to demand an apology from her instead of giving her a welcome home gift. Niles takes his brother's advice and reads her the riot act, but when he later refuses to aplogise, Maris asks for a divorce.
After his show goes to commercial break, Frasier is approached by Noel about an "anonymous" petition he has been passing around about introducing a new character to Star Trek - a four-breasted alien queen obviously based on Roz, which has drawn quite a few laughs at Roz's expense. He signs it anyway as a joke. Frasier then gets a distressed phone call from Niles, who tells him that Maris has been kidnapped. He leaves the station and meets up with Niles and Martin at Niles' house. He is perplexed to learn that Maris hasn't been seen for three whole days and Niles only noticed just now because she usually keeps him at such a distance. Martin, on the phone with one of his police contacts, learns that Maris' credit cards have been charged at several high-end fashion and jewelry stores in New York. When Niles finds out that not a single charge has been made to any restaurants, he is overjoyed as he realizes that Maris hasn't been kidnapped, just gone on a shopping trip.
Frasier, however, is has a more negative view on the affair because of Maris' selfish behavior. Confronting Niles with this, he gets Niles to start expressing his frustrations - by taking decorations from the house and smashing them. The relief and satisfaction it brings him is cut short when Maris's car pulls into the driveway. However, Frasier convinces him to finally confront Maris with how he really feels about their relationship. Later that day, Frasier, Martin and Daphne return to Frasier's apartment after having dinner at a restaurant. While Martin and Daphne take Eddie for a walk, Frasier is greeted by Niles, who let himself in after voicing his frustrations to Maris and going to the apartment to await her apology. Shortly afterwards, Maris calls the apartment with a response, just not the one Niles was hoping for - she wants a divorce.
As Niles settles in for a stay at Frasier's apartment while he and Maris are separated, Frasier, against Martin's advice, goes to talk to Maris and try to convince her to handle the situation more rationally. Instead, she first dumps a bucket of water onto him, and then lets loose a pack of guard dogs. The next day, Niles is uncharacteristically happy and upbeat, all in obvious denial about his situation. He later goes back to his and Maris' house to get some things and move them to a new apartment he found. He also says goodbye to the staff, some of whom want to come with him. As Niles is about to leave, he is overcome with regret and becomes desperate to stay. Just then, Marta passes on an offer from Maris - she will take Niles back if he says this has all been his fault. Niles seems to consider it, but utlimately decides against it.
Roz finds a gift at the station - a four-breasted bra, a reference to "Rozalinda". She gives it a weirded-out look before holding it in front of herself, at which point a group of employees outside the booth start bowing to her and chanting "Hail, Queen Rozalinda".
- THANK GOD GUCCI WAS CLOSED
- WHAT LIGHT BREAKS THROUGH YONDER WINDOW
- DENIAL AIN'T JUST A RIVER
- Kelsey Grammer as Frasier Crane
- Jane Leeves as Daphne Moon
- David Hyde Pierce as Niles Crane
- Peri Gilpin as Roz Doyle
- and John Mahoney as Martin Crane
- Paul Mazursky as Vinnie
- Niles moves out of the Crane Mansion.
- In the scene where Niles is bidding farewell to the household staff, one of the men is Asian and dressed in outdoor work clothes. It is possible that this is meant to be Yoshi, the gardener, mentioned in a number of episodes, but never seen and who later dies in season seven's The Fight Before Christmas.
- The title is based on the song "The Last Time I Saw Paris" composed by Oscar Hammerstein II and Jerome Kern and used in the 1954 movie of the same name, though it was originally written for the 1941 movie, Lady Be Good.